Things I Heard Recently

Eavesdropping is my favourite hobby, don't act like it isn't yours too! I love catching snippets of other people's conversations, not to be intrusive, simply because I find them fascinating, as I'm sure people love listening in on my conversations too.
I like to Tweet a lot of random quotes which are things which I have either overheard or things which have been said to me, therefore, I thought I would compile a list of things I have heard recently in a bunch of different environments. These things were heard over a time span of a couple of weeks and so involved me whipping out my iPhone as soon as I heard something funny or bizarre, to quickly type it into my notes so I didn't forget it. If anybody was to open my phone and see that list, they would probably be rather confused!
To be honest, this is something that I would urge everybody to do! Even if you don't necessarily jot down the things you have overheard, just open your ears a little bit more! I reckon it will make you slightly more aware of your surroundings and aware of the many types of people around you. Also, its really fun to even just catch three words of someone's conversation as they walk past you in the street, as you'll never get to know how it ended!
Here is a list of things I heard that I wanted to share with you because I thought they were either A) funny or B) just too good to keep to myself!

  1. "I reckon I spend more time watching Snapchat stories than I do TV programmes."
  2. "I spent my whole life wanting to have children and then, when I did have them, I didn't know what to do with them."
  3. "There are only two cities in England, aren't there? London and Manchester?"
  4. "When a man goes bald, does all his hair fall off at once or does it go in bits?"
  5. "I haven't got a boyfriend so I'm wearing boyfriend-style jeans."
  6. "My Nan put her brother in the oven when he was little."
  7. "My neighbour once pushed me down the stairs. She's now a mental health nurse."
  8. "When I was stuck in traffic this morning, I thought I'd better occupy myself and so filed eight of my nails. I didn't have time to do the other two."
  9. "I went to Nando's yesterday. I ordered a chicken wrap and guess what was on it? No chicken."
  10. "When I saw these photos of Zac Efron shirtless this morning I nearly choked on my toast."
  11. "I have this £2 coin, right, but I don't want to spend it because it's got Charles Dicken's face on it."
  12. "I want to be Selena Gomez and every day it makes me sad that I'm not her."
  13. "All we can do in life is keep on keeping on."
  14. "The washing machine has benefited women more than the workplace ever has."
  15. "When I blew that eyelash away, I wished for a McFlurry."
  16. "I've got a mate who has toes that look like Wotsits."
  17. "How good is Zayn's new album, Mission of Mind?"
  18. "I just bought this drink in the canteen but it would've only cost me 10p in the Pound Shop!"
  19. "When I was in school, my Geography teacher told me I was a bismol. I had to look up what a bismol meant."
  20. "Does anyone even wear green anymore?"
  21. "I couldn't kill a man. Physically I could, but not mentally."
  22. "People don't tell you everything, sometimes, you just have to guess what the truth is"
  23. "In my next life, I'm going to be a free runner. Or in this life, depending on how motivated I am."
  24. "If I go to a concert wearing false eyelashes, I do not come out wearing false eyelashes."
  25. "I am in fact eating a piece of pineapple, not a giant chip."
  26. "You should never trust any species that has been around since the dinosaurs."
  27. "Once I won an award for being the best ginger. There were ten people in the category."
  28. "Did you hear about that guy who wants to sue his parents for $2million because he was born ginger?"
  29. "I look like John Lenon and Elton John put together."
  30. "Last year I went to Lanzarote to get rid of my cold and I came back with pneumonia."
  31. "You know your life is sad when all you want from it is a new toothbrush."
  32. "When I was born, I was so big that I got stuck. They had to suck me out so my head looked like a cone."
  33. "I used to think that indigo was the same colour as ginger so I went round telling everyone I had indigo hair."
  34. "One thing that annoys me about making lists is that you never get to the end of them."
Tell me one thing that you heard recently that made you laugh! <3

Love, Emily :) xx

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